February Weigh In & Goals

January Weight: 263 lbs

February Weight: 260 lbs

Monthly Loss: -3 lbs

Total Weight Lost: 35 lbs

Total Inches Lost: 24.5

January started out pretty well! I got down to 257 lbs and was posting my weekly weight on my Instagram account. Then for some strange reason, I just stopped. Like I told you all before, I suffer from seasonal depression and sometimes I just mentally shut down. It's like this alter-ego comes in and takes over my brain and I just don't care. About anything.

I had Friday off this week, and I was down. Depressed. Sad for no reason. I had some things to do in the morning, but after that I basically turned into a zombie. I drove around town and stopped at a few stores, feeling like I was completely alone in the world (even though I took Eli to lunch, and we had a great time.) I finally stopped at Macey's and bought a giant bag of chocolate covered cinnamon bears, then stopped at KFC and got a large popcorn chicken (even though I had eaten a chicken sandwich like 1.5 hours prior to that.) I took them home and ate the chicken while watching Grey's Anatomy, and also managed to throw half the cinnamon bears down. I felt even more disgusting afterward, but I just didn't care. 

I am not telling you these things for you to feel sorry for me, or think I am a slob, or judge me. I am telling you because, more than likely, some of you suffer from this same disease. Some of you can probably relate to this exact scenario. Depression is real, and hard!

So where do we go from here? The answer is so different for every single person that suffers from it, and I wish that my plan worked for everyone. 

Luckily that night I came home, looked on Facebook and saw and ad for Weight Watchers. I was a very happy member of WW last year, and actually lost the majority of my weight so far while on the plan. I don't know why I decided to ruin a good thing because from the moment I cancelled my membership, losing became almost impossible. My Fitness Pal is an amazing free app, but it just doesn't cut it for me, There is something that happens in my brain when using the Points Plus program; it yields such greater results for me. They have a wonderful support group and hundreds of challenges to compete in, which help me stay motivated and focused! 

I joined Friday night again, and haven't looked back! I am excited about eating healthy; I have also made some new weight loss goals for the next 6 months! Everything just fits right now.

I struggled with my phone goals for January. I didn't engage as much as I wanted to, and I looked at my phone too much. For February and March I am going to do something a little different. 

 I want to become a morning person. My morning usually consists of me taking Eli to work, coming home and getting back into bed, and sleeping again until about 30 minutes before work. I then  jump in the shower and get ready so fast that I don't even get breakfast in. I want this to change! I want to wake up and get a workout in. Exercise in the morning gives me so much energy. I also want to make a healthy breakfast to sustain me through the morning. I feel that if I can get into this routine, things will change for the better in my life! 

I am choosing to take this goal seriously, so that is why it is a 2 month goal for me. I really want to make this into a habit that will eventually turn into second nature for me.

I know I have made many empty promises these last few months, but I am so grateful for all of your support through my journey. Thanks for not giving up on me! 

We can do hard things!  

The Hard Things, and A New Approach.

Hello, stranger! I have been out of commission, and I have not been updating.  The one regret I have over these past couple of months is that I didn't post during the hard times. I let the struggle and expectation of it all get the best of me, and I hid away. One of the many things I learned in the past 3 months is that this journey is so REAL.The successes are real. The tears are real. The struggle is real.

The past six months have been quite a roller coaster ride for me, and I must say I haven't handled it the best that I could. I began to really struggle at work, and genuinely hated going in every day. My work ethic diminished, and I felt defeated constantly. I work in a customer service area, and the daily negativity was bringing me down to an all-time low. Add being sick the majority of the time, and you have an unhappy panda.

Fast forward to a month or so ago. I have been truly blessed, and have been given the opportunity to shine in a different area at work. My hours, pay, and general surroundings are so much better now, and I can finally find my way back to the happy girl I used to be. I will be able to have normal weekends with my husband for the most part, and I will be home at a decent hour now. My emotional and physical plateau have finally come to a halt, and I am finding meaning in all of the little and big things again. I am truly excited to detox and get rid of the negativity in my mind and body. Sometimes the Lord has a truly great plan for you. I am so grateful to Him for giving me this opportunity to reclaim my happiness and light.

All of these things being said, I have decided to do a few things differently. As this new year is bringing about so many new changes for me, I feel that I need to make this journey about so much more than just weight loss. I am going to give myself a goal each month to work on that has nothing to do with fitness. Some will help me mentally, some emotionally, some professionally, etc. I will announce each month's goal on the first Friday as a part of my monthly "weigh in." I will also post about the previous month, and what the outcome was.I will continue to work on my weight loss journey, and make my usual posts, of course. I just feel that all of these changes need to be embraced and given the attention that they deserve.

As far as weight loss goes, I am going to begin weighing in weekly on Instagram. I feel like the public accountability will give me so much more motivation. I have slacked off a little and put on a few pounds, but the important part for me is that I am getting everything back in check and pushing through.

Life is truly beautiful...even with all the hard things.

Come back tomorrow for my January weigh in!

Anniversary Weekend: Good Time, Bad Choices.

These past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy, especially with our 3 year anniversary last Tuesday. We took 5 days off and just enjoyed ourselves!

Us over the years.

We were able to go on a Haunted Ghost Tour in our little town, go to a Pumpkin Patch followed by shopping and dinner out with my sister, and a bunch of other fun things! It was such a nice feeling to just be together without an agenda.

We got to pick them off of the vine!

Carving our spoils!

We also spent some time in the mountains at our favorite spot on our actual anniversary, which was so therapeutic to our souls! We both find so much solace in nature, it energizes us and helps us to unwind and remember what the true meaning of this crazy life is.

Like I said, the weekend was amazing. I, however, didn't stick to my plan very well. Life is all about trial and error, and this weekend was an error in the wellness aspect of things. We ate out at least once a day, and I just didn't make good choices. I also didn't exercise. You may think I have no willpower, but that simply isn't true. I made a choice to disregard my plan, and in retrospect I am glad I did for one reason. I never will do it again. I felt like literal garbage. I was sluggish and moody, and my mind was so fuzzy! I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere...I just wanted to be a vegetable. This right here is proof that what you put into your mouth has a major effect on your body AND mind.

I remember reading a post on one of my favorite fellow weight loss blogs about how a little way into her journey they went to Disneyland as a family. She let herself eat whatever she wanted, but then when she returned home she realized that she missed eating healthy and exercising. It was something that had become a part of who she was and is today. I feel that this happened to me as well. I couldn't wait to get back on track when we had to come back to reality, and although it has been hard, I'm grateful that I have been unwilling to give up. I know by next week life will be back to normal, and my cravings will have subsided.

Here are a few of my recent Instagram posts. I may have had a rough week, but I am still making progress. The first one is two photos that have been layered together so that you can see my literal progress. It's a little tough to see, but you get the idea. The dark area inside is what I look like now in this shirt.

Up next is a comparison. I am just happy to see that although I weigh the exact same in these two photos, as I am losing weight I am tightening and toning up. Even the same clothes fit very differently because we have been lifting heavy weights and really building muscle when we work out. The left one was taken on our honeymoon, and the right one was taken on our anniversary this week.

This next one is just a comparison from last years family photo to this year. I can see quite a difference.

The final one is what I am most proud of! Although I don't have a photo of me last year wearing this coat, anyone who knows me can confirm that I could barely even zip it up! It was so tight that you could see my stomach and sides bulging out. I decided to put it on just to see how it fit last Friday, and lo and behold:

It's huge on me! I can actually see all the way through it down to the ground when I look inside. I was completely in awe! It's almost too big to wear and feel comfortable in at this point..I don't want to look frumpy!

Finding the sparkle in life and the silver lining through difficult times is the only way for me to press forward! This journey is real and it will lead me to a healthy, happy place if I can just trust the process. As my dad has always said, "slow is your friend!" I never thought that a silly phrase in reference to driving through Sardine Canyon during snow storms would mean so much to me now. It has honestly become a mantra to me during this lifestyle change. My point being, find what works for you. Find your own words of wisdom and repeat them often!

We can definitely do hard things!

October Weigh In

September Weight: 259 lbs
October Weight: 256 lbs
Monthly Loss: -3 lbs
Monthly Inches: 4 
Total Weight Lost: -39 lbs
Total Inches Lost: 24.5

When I started this journey I knew there would be ups and downs. I knew there would be hard things. I wanted to embrace these things and find ways to overcome them! I am honestly grateful for this month and its difficulty, because I didn't give up. Not even once did the thought of giving up enter my mind! That right there is a victory in and of itself! I have looked at each day, each week, and each pound as a stepping stone in my journey. I want to get through this rough patch of a plateau very, very badly, but I am not in a race and things are very trial and error for me right now.

The best parts of September were the things that happened off the scale. I have found an incredible group of people on Instagram and Facebook that are so motivational. I am filling my life full of positive humans that are working toward similar goals as I am, and we are there to encourage and uplift one another. The support I've found has changed my attitude and feelings toward my health in such a positive way! I just feel like surrounding myself with these positive people is such an important part of my journey.

My new toy came in the mail this month and it has been motivating my workouts so much in the past 2 weeks! I got the Polar FT4 Heart Monitor and it is AMAZING!!!  Here she is! She makes me challenge myself during my workouts every day!

My Polar FT4

Another awesome thing that happened was Eli came with me to the gym, and he got a membership himself! We have made a schedule, and plan on going 4 times a week! I feel like my greatest support is here in my home. We are both going to be working toward a healthier lifestyle and it is going to be AMAZING!

This is us heading to the gym for the first time last week. 

I've saved the best for last! I was chosen by the most motivational person I have met (as far as fitness is concerned) to be one of her 5 Transformation Tuesday's! ( Click on the link to see!) She posted my most recent progress photo on her feed and shared my story with her many, many followers! I was able to gain more followers as a result, but it wasn't about that for me. I was just so proud of myself in that moment...to see her recognize me as someone she thought of as inspirational was such a high! I actually called my mom and cried. It was a very real moment for me to see how far I've come, and to watch others recognize that. It was like a gift to me. Here is a photo I snapped of the post she made.

She is AMAZING!

So all in all, it has been an extremely positive month! I am working toward new gym goals, as well as others. I feel like I need to just savor all of this journey and learn as much as I can about myself in the process. My plan is to start weighing in weekly on Instagram, so that I can become more accountable, as well as work out more and more. The holidays are coming and I want to be in a place where I can really practice some self control!

I hope I can still continue to motivate you all through this blog and my other forms of social media! More posts are on their way. Thank you all for your love and support!

Always remember, we can do hard things!

I Never Thought I Would Say This...

...but I CRAVE exercise.

What the WHAT?!

I know this was on my list of accomplishments last week, but I feel it deserves more than just a bullet point.

Let me tell you something. I have recently become involved in various social media platforms where many people have lost 100+ pounds, and I have found so much inspiration in their stories. I hope that one day I can be as motivating as them! But there is one thing that they all have in common. At some point in their journey they have this "AHA!" moment where they burst into song about how they used to hate exercise, and now all of a sudden they want to run up every mountain in sight! And I sit over here on my couch and laugh at them thinking, "Yeah right, that is NEVER going to happen to THIS girl!"

Well let me tell you that in a small way it totally has happened to me. I must eat my words now. 

Lately I am finding myself craving a walk in the evenings, or thinking about waking up before Eli on our day off together and heading to the gym for a bit. I don't know exactly what made it click for me. There was no angel singing, or light bulb appearing over my head. I guess I just decided in my heart that exercise, endorphins, sweat and CUTE workout clothes are a necessity in this new lifestyle of mine. And I'm more than ok with that!

Something happened on a walk recently, and I think it had something to do with my epiphany. Eli and I went on a walk on our new favorite trail last week and I decided to push myself.  Like, really hard. I was sweating profusely and breathing so hard that I sounded like some sort of dying animal. I say this funnily, but honestly I was a hot mess. Do you know what happened when I passed other people? Nothing. No one stared or gawked or whispered. I just kept going on my journey and they continued theirs, and no one even acted like they were paying attention to me. I'm sure they were so involved in their own exercise that they didn't even notice my heaving or sweaty hair.

And it felt so DARN good not to care!I was getting the most out of my workout. My workout for me, not for them. Something I was doing to help ME feel better and become a better, fitter human being.

I realized something in that moment. All of my life I have been hiding. Wasting my life in the shadows, looking at other people and longing to be more like them. I have always been social and had friends and been happy, but there has been this part of me holding myself back in fear. Fear for what other people will think of me, or say behind my back, etc. I have been consumed by the fear of rejection and humiliation.

I am done with that fear. I am jumping off that cycle of self-destruction, and heading to a place of peace and faith. Faith in myself to accomplish my goals, and inner peace in my mind allowing myself to just BE in EVERY moment. Be happy. Be sweaty. Be loved. Be fit. Be strong. Be faithful. Be fearless!

We are all worth it. We can all overcome the hard things, and do them with passion!

Left: June,  Right: August. Same shirt. 

Me on 8/22/14.

First Weigh-In

August Weight: 264 lbs
July Weight: 272 lbs
Monthly Loss: - 8 lbs
Monthly Inches Lost: 13.5

So this month I dropped 8 pounds, 13.5 inches and 1 pant size! I am feeling great, especially in the Non-Scale Victory department! I also met my 10% weight loss goal with WW! I can't believe how motivated this blog, along with my Facebook page, are making me. They are seriously helping me stay accountable and EXCITED about what my life is becoming.


I didn't post much last week, and I have a few posts I need to catch up on. I did make my two diabetic-friendly recipes I am going to share. I also have a personal scenario I want to tell you about, and my list of things to look forward to with weight loss. I will get to these this week, I promise.

Now for the best news of the month! I had to go to the doctor this week for some issues I was having and I found out that I NO LONGER NEED MY BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICATION!!!!! This is such a huge hurdle for me to overcome! I honestly shed some tears, and shared a few words of deep gratitude to my Heavenly Father for helping me stay on track, and making this whole process so attainable thus far. My blood pressure is in completely normal range without the pills, and unless something drastically changes in the future, I will never have to take them again! I scheduled another A1C check for the end of the month, so I will do another post at that time when I found out if my numbers have gone down in the Diabetic department.

It was so nice to go to my doctor and see him genuinely proud of what I have done in the past few months! It is moments like those that make me keep going and realize how much better a healthy lifestyle is.

Life is truly beautiful when you are trying to better yourself, my friends! I am so happy that I can hold my head high and accept the things that are happening in my life, instead of fearing the negative constantly. This is one of the many perks of creating a healthier lifestyle: mental clarity.I love my body AND my mind!

 Remember, we can do hard things!

Progress: 30 lbs down

30 Before 30

I saw this idea on another blog I follow and I loved it! As you know I turned 29 last Friday. I think that now is as good a time as any to really nip this fitness stuff in the bud so that I can enter my 30s feeling better than ever! I have come up with a list, and as I complete each one I will come back and cross it off and put in a date of completion.

My ultimate goal is to enter my 30s as healthily as I entered my 20s, if not healthier. I began my 20s at around 190, and I wasn't exercising at all. I was on a steep climb to where I am now. Just the fact that I wasn't exercising then gives me a jump start on my goal! If I were to complete that goal, it would put me at 100 pounds lost...which to me sounds almost too hard to believe! Here's to a healthier me in 2015!

30 Before 30  

1. Run one mile without stopping.
2. Walk/run a 5k.
3. Walk/run a 10k.
4. Hike 10 different mountain trails.
      1- Tony Grove to White Pine Lake: 8 miles. 06/25/14
      2-
      3-
      4-
      5-
      6-
      7-
      8-
      9-
      10-
5. Complete a total of 500 miles of running/walking/biking/hiking.
6. Do 10 full sit ups unassisted.
7. Try a yoga class.
8. Try a zumba class.
9. Own a bike.
10. Complete all 3 segments of Biggest Loser Boot Camp: Cardio Max without stopping.
11. Eliminate soda from my daily routine. (Only allow it on special occasions.)
12. Incorporate 64 oz of water into my day.
13. Eat out no more than twice a week for 6 months straight. (This will be difficult with our work schedules.)
14. Exercise 5x a week..
15. Get completely out of the plus size section.
16. Try 2 new diabetic friendly recipes each month and blog about them.
      July:
      August:
      September:
      October:
      November:
      December:
      January:
      February:
      March:
      April:
      May:
      June:
17: Complete 3 WW Challenges.
18: Blog 2-3 times per week.
19. Buy a dress for my 30th birthday that I feel beautiful in, preferably from a dress shop.
20. Buy a bra from Victoria's Secret. (I haven't fit in one for over 4 years.)
21. Crochet a blanket.
22. Make all of my Christmas gifts this year.
23. Get off of my cholesterol and blood pressure medication. BP completed 8/1/14
24. Read the unabridged version of Les Miserables.
25. Swim @ Bear Lake in a suit I feel comfortable in.
26. Write one Thank You note each month to someone who has impacted my life in some way.
      July-
      August-
      September-
      October-
      November-
      December-
      January-
      February-
      March-
      April -
      May-
      June-
27. Ride the Rocket at Lagoon without feeling too big!
28. Take one motivational photo each day and post it to Instagram with (hash-tag) #365motivate
29. Take a REAL vacation.
30. Ring in my 30s healthier than I rang in my 20s. 100 pounds lost, and weighing in at 190 pounds or less.


I can do ALL the hard things!

Weigh-in Friday + New Workouts

I feel that there is something monotonous about weighing in publicly every single week. Where I would love to shout my every little victory from the rooftops, something tells me that the reason why you are here is for more than my progress on the scale. Please don't take offense if you are reading this and thinking "I love to post my weight each week to show my progress." If you post your each week, that is awesome! I'm glad that you are moving forward and accomplishing your goal! Personally, I just want to make this blog about more than the numbers.

 I weighed a day early this week, so I will tell you that this morning I hopped on and saw a wonderful 268! I haven't weighed that in about 2 years. It felt amazing to see the progress, and that makes 27 pounds down for me total. I am loving life at the moment! My body is moving in ways that it hasn't been able to for over a year now...and boy does it feel good.

That all being said, from here on out I will post my current weight on the first Friday of every month. My goal is to hopefully hit around a 10 pound loss each month. I just joined a Challenge Group on WW (Weight Watchers) with a goal to lose 50 pounds by January 1st, 2015. I am hoping that all will go well and I will succeed! That would average out about a 2 pound loss each week, and I feel that it is doable.

I have incorporated a few new things into my daily routine I want to tell you about. First off, I purchased Leslie Sansone's Ultimate 5 Day Walk Plan and I love it! It has 5 separate miles that you can choose from.  So you can do a combination of the miles and do up to 5 at one time to get a really thorough walk in, or if you are pressed for time, you can do one mile in about 15 minutes. Her style is aerobic walking so the miles aren't boring at all, and she has a very perky personality. She also includes 5 mini workouts that each target a specific part of your body. I have done it for 3 days now and I can already feel a difference. It is a great low/moderate workout for those of us who are new to exercise.

I also downloaded the RunKeeper App on my phone, and it is amazing! I love that it has multiple exercises to choose from, and it tracks your route and calories burned so specifically. Eli and I tried it tonight on a trail that we love and it was awesome to see exactly how far we walked. I seriously suggest downloading it if you walk/run/hike/bike/etc.

Well that is all for now, but I will be updating again this weekend with my list of "30 Before 30."
I am setting 30 fitness (and other) goals to accomplish before the big 3-0 next year!

Remember - we can do hard things!