If I Could Go Back...

If I could go back I would tell this girl that she is worth it. That she isn't fat or ugly or awkward. I would tell her that she has a beautiful heart that most people don't understand. But one day, when she is a little older, she will find people who see the beauty of her heart, and they will love her all the better for it. I would tell her that every inch of her body was created for a means to live a beautiful, healthy life. I would stroke her hair as she cried, explaining that one day she would have answers to all her heartache, and wouldn't have to walk this earth alone. I would reassure her of her strength and her divine purpose.

I would tell her so many positive, encouraging, uplifting things. I would listen to her patiently so she didn't feel left out or unimportant. I would try to teach her to have better self-love and confidence.

Me @ Girls Camp 2001

Me & my friend Amanda

I remember this day well. I remember putting on that shirt and feeling so fat and ugly. I remember staring in the mirror, worried about that virtually non-existent muffin top. I remember worrying that I was going to get made fun of or talked about (even though my friends weren't like that!) I also remember the day I got these photos back from the printer. I could barely stomach them, picking myself apart at every angle.

I look back at them now and want to reach through time and give my 15 year old self a hug! I was worth so much more than I ever thought. I wish I knew what I know now.

I know we can't change the past, and we can't dwell on it either. 
I DO know that we deserve  love. From others, but most importantly, we deserve it from ourselves!
This life is far too short and too complicated not to love, forgive, and be good to yourself each and every day.

I'm so glad that I found my inner-beauty and my drive to become the best version of myself.

I am glad I have decided to love myself through it all, and remind myself that I can do hard things.